"Chess is a metaphor for drug deals,
Avon is the king and we're the pawns.
But the game don't change and the king will stay the king,
While you and I will soon be dead and gone."
In honor of the tenth anniversary of The Wire, Funny or Die put together a sublime sketch that answers a question we've all asked ourselves at one point or another*: what would the five-season portrait of America's decaying inner cities look like as a musical? With the help of a surprising number of original cast members - Michael K. Williams (Omar), Sonja Sohn (Kima), Andre Royo (Bubbles), Larry Gillard, Jr. (D'Angelo) and Felicia Pearson (Snoop) appear in the clip - we now have our answer (via The AV Club):
There are six lessons I took away from this inspired endeavor:
1. Larry Gillard, Jr. is a pretty damned good singer! Andrew Royo, on the other hand, sounds remarkably like a latter-day Bob Dylan.
2. Michael K. William's broad grin, combined with his exaggerated musical theater shenanigans, suggest that the man has a future in comedy.
3. Omar's immortal line "I got the shotgun, you got the briefcase" was meant to be sung.
4. Snoop is significantly less intimidating in a dress, although I'm sure the fear would come right back the second she got her hands on a nail gun.
5. "Way Down In The Hole" performed by a barbershop quartet works surprisingly well.
6. A four-minute, family-friendly spoof of The Wire is still better than either Glee or Smash.
*Or not, as the case may be.